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Note to SELF #1

He’s just like the other guys. I should’ve seen it. Too bad I was blinded by first impression.
In the coming days, I know, I’ll get over this. I’ll soon, forget about THEM.
I just hope they are happy. I wish that his new pets can make him happy.
I sound bitter, yes, I am. I will get over this. I will get over this.
I know my worth, without even looking at the mirror.
If there’s anything good with the last look I did is that, I confirmed my instincts.
And hell yeah, I was RIGHT AGAIN.
I almost burst into tears.
I really wanted to cry.
What’s more frustrating is that, I can’t feel any anger towards him.
I don’t want to hate him for dumping / throwing me just like that.
The problem is in me, I assumed, expected more that what he can offer.
It was only myself left to blame.
I should punish myself. Kill all the remaining emotions I have for him.
No, I will not cut off our friendship. 
I will stay where I am now, he can go back if ever he wants to, but this time, 
I’ll make sure to not make him a priority, 
He will no longer receive special treatment. 
My eyes will no longer smile for him.
I can do this overnight. I have all the motivation to do so.
I will enlist and remember by heart what not to do, and what not to say to him.
A total silence. I will make him feel like I don’t care at all,
He can keep that song to himself, or share that to his new pets. 
I can no longer afford to act like a beggar begging for a song
Anyway, for the last weeks that I felt like our friendship was burning, I thank HIM.
Be grateful, he was a blessing. 

~END

 

 

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