Just when I thought I conquered the waves, I found myself back in the middle of the sea.
I was okay. I am fine. I learned to accept that I cannot change anything anymore. That he just passed by to teach me something. I no longer wanted to know my place. I got used to the pain, that it made me numb. I was at the momentum of regaining myself. Then,a surprise surprised me.
I knew it. There was something. There was really something going on. What I felt during those moments were real. Supposedly, that revelation should make me happy, right? But how come, here I am, lost… confused… Am I over thinking again? Honestly, I just miss him. I miss him that I can no longer hide it. There are a lot of things I want to say, but I don’t know how. Or if he’s even interested to know my story. I miss him that once again, it breaks my heart.
I’m scared and shy to admit the truth. I’m not expecting anything, all I wanted to know is where am I. It may be mutual, but that’s it. I want to admit the truth. Can I have my turn? A second chance? I will not ruin it this time. I want to push my luck and see where it will take me. I no longer want to shed tears. I’ve cried a lot this last two months. And it’s all because of him.
Can I hug you?
Can we just sit, back and breathe?
We don’t need any words, presence is more that enough
Let’s waste time together, can we?
Thanks for embracing my imperfections.
Can I just love you, if its not too much to ask?
Don’t worry, I’m not asking you to do the same.
Just let me do it for you, until I can.