A month long euphoria was put to a sudden stop, just like that.
The first day was okay
The second day was vengeful
The third day was numbness
You no longer feel anything. The pain took charge of your entirety, you were helpless.
You just give up and surrender everything. There’s nothing you can do about it.
The very thing that you’re holding, taking care of, and loving unconditionally slipped off AGAIN. Again, again, again, over and over again. But how come you it feels like your first?
You, then again, starts to wonder why.
If he’s not the one, then who is it?
You fall, he fall, isn’t perfect?
Why didn’t you catch each other?
How come it ended when it hasn’t officially started?
I don’t know the difference of this one to the other “another used to be’s”
I don’t know why I keep coming back.
I don’t know why he keep coming back either.
This one hurts physically. I can feel it in my chest! Or is it that I have some sort of heart disease? Shiz! Why do I have to suffer this on my much awaited birthday month.
It’s supposed to be very simple. I just complicated everything by not telling the truth. I didn’t deny anything, I didn’t confirmed anything either. So, does it mean that I lied?
I just want him make decisions. He should be the one in charge, and I will follow like an obedient dog. Well, if he can’t, then. I don’t know.
This too shall pass… If not, then I will believe 100%, that we’re meant to be.
For now, I will focus on creating C-H-A-N-G-E …